Winter has come

Ding Ding!

This is not a Game of thrones appreciation post –although power to GOT- neither is it a fashion haul preparing you for the cool season of the West because Common sense🙄.

For my readers across the Atlantic


Let’s see, i live close to the equator, literally and therefore have no business telling you what to do when it begins to snow. It does not snow here, by here i mean Nigeria but you knew that already so yeah, let us come together.

Hello beautiful people-excluding Pro-Trump

This is perhaps the most expectant season of the year for everyone -except you are a risk taker who decides to ditch birth control.

For me, the idea of cool breeze, festivities and spending more time in my boyfriend’s City of Angels’ sweat shirt whilst arguing about his room mate’s status as a Republican sounds really amazing and a whole lot better than counting my woes and losses for the failed part of the year.

Ps. My boyfriend is a Genius.

In previous years, this would usually be the time to go to Ikota shopping complex and buy a Journal worth a bucket of KFC with an attempt to create a new life once again. This was the period where i would constantly jump into another host and have an intense need to start afresh. It most certainly looked like i was running from myself and then back to myself.

All that turn turn na stress

Now, 2016 isn’t/wasn’t so much of a big year uno, i did not loose all the weight and there was no dramatic turn around in my grades. But i’m truly relaxed and living in the moment. Why? because i cannot kill my damn self. Seriouly though, we can only do the best we can when it comes to having achievement and maybe do some more but this talk is for another day. 

I will not digress! I will not digress!

Taking off all the garbage is a good way to live in this season. Operation No stress. You have done well and should give yourself a round of applause for a job well done especially when you haven’t achieved so much. Sometimes we feel the need to finish everything on our to do list but we just can’t and if we do, it most certainly would be out of bare struggle.

Making plans, setting up goals & deadlines and all the other stuff are good and perhaps serve as an addition to validate your status but the joie de vivre is knowing when and how to count your blessings no matter how small. Garbages are things i like to call extra and honey, you do not need extra.

However, before the era of Resolutions begin i wish to let you in on two paramount things that could serve you during this period as well aiding your journey in the new year.

Re-assessment


Although stattistics show that students who take Revision way more seriously than taking Practice exams are likely to fail, it is however more dangerous to begin a begin a new journey without re-assessing the old. 

Human emotions are fickle, like the wind it has no destination but we get to control that. But before we reach the place of control we must have properly understood the highs and lows of it. 

Are you grateful for 2016 or are you just waiting to begin another year and pretend like nothing happened? Although answers may vary, we can unite on either of the two- grateful or trash. If you are totally grateful for all your achievements and goals and the escape of many flaws, good for you.

Apparently this post is not for you but you can sit with us still.

You on the other hand with the should haves, if i had known’s’, maybes most certainly have my attention. 

Now, like i said earlier this year wasn’t all that great like Viola Davis winning the emmys’ great. I got played twice, had my heart broken , suffered financially, lost my best friend, lost my aunt to cancer, had accomodation problems, got betrayed by the devil, had my first crisis, Loved but was never loved back, had a death scare….. I could go on and on but hey, i’m still here and so are you despite all of your misfortunes.

Reassessing my life from whenever to this present moment has not only aided my growth but has helped in slowly building a stable nature for myself. The ability to sit and recap gives you the opportunity to travel back in time to yourself. While reassessing, there will be moments you certainly won’t be proud of, moments you totally want to cut off from your life’s resume, moments of regrets. And because we can get easily overwhelmed by this, we find ourselves running and following the band wagon of New year, New me.



Mistakes are paramount necessities of life. Although many people frown at the making of mistakes over and over again, you alone have the power to choose the pace by which you learn life’s lesson. Remember that comparism is the thief of joy, why? because it is. The time used to compare your life with that of some one else would probably be the time used to better yourself as an individuals

Regrets have a way of making us myopic to our good deeds. Again, we can be truly overwhelmed by our mistakes thereby making us regard a particular achievement as little or even nothing. 
The purpose of Reassessment is to validate the point that we are flesh and blood and bones and tendons and lingaments and cells and practically a structure that has coalesced overtime. We are not automatic beings, we fall and rise-pros and cons of the cycle of life. The ability to place all of what life has given you equally on a pedestal shows that you are indeed a conqueror. 
Your trials, your blessings, your short comings and goals, all put together add up to the amazing person that you are (me too). So while reassessing today, make peace with your past and count all of your blessings one by one.

Forgiveness

The Art of letting go by Josh Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus was a TED talk that opened my eyes to the necessity of de cluttering and even de cluttering of the mind. Although their prime purpose was to spread the word on Minimalism- which involves the doing away with excess possessions, i got quite a different message alongside . While it is important to own less in a minimalist life stlye the application of the same virtue becomes vital when we make the decision to live a more peaceful and free life. 

Letting go can mean various things -like falling off a cliff- but the Letting go important for peace and freedom is the dumping of any form of emotional bargage. Hurt like Death respects no man. No matter what you do or how you do it, it is most cerrain that you cannot run away from it. You cannot avoid death stares and bullets from the hearts of people, if you could, oh well but you can’t. 

Knowing that you can rise above all the disappointments and bad issues that have come to you is more than a relief but sometimes it becomes much easier to hold on to these things for future reference thereby blocking every chance at happiness. We should understand that people do not use owe us approvals or supports and vice versa. 
Do not place yourself in the chains of expectation and go on to cry Dear Oloni when things were made lucid from the start. 

To let go is to put yourself first as always and take a fat chance at finding freedom. All that pain and anger will do you no good. Perhaps the most important person to forgive in the process of letting go should be yourself. Forgive yourself for your constant errors and flaws. 

The constant stereotype that one should settle their debt before the year runs out should be put to rest. Making peace with the people whom you have offended or vice versa shouldn’t be an eventful thing but that of normalcy. So text who you have to and apologise not because you want the supernatural blessings of the new year but because you are a decent human being who values his/her peace over anything. 

Till next time, be happy.

Happy holidays x

5 habits that will change your Life.

Habits are part of us whether we like it or not. They are seeds responsible for the pattern of growth our lives will take one way or the other. For the sake of balance, not all of our habits will help in achieving our goals or even finding a pathway to fulfillment in life. Some of the habits we have inculcated unconciously through the process of socialization and even interaction may or may not support type change we desire- as growing adults – in our lives.

As we grow and encounter various forms of experiences, we consciously or unconsciously let go of some habits and take on new ones. It is important to note that we are expected to be intentional and purposeful in our various endeavours. 

Habits are like new lingeries hanging on the primark stand even the okrika ones. 

We come across/ witness various behavioural patterns, some of which we have noted to be the driving force in the lives of the people we admire and are greatly influenced by.

Lately, i have become rather self-conscious with my dealings in life, this is a good thing. Because i have a bird’s-eye view of what it is i want to become i have engaged myself in little yet constant changes that have helped me. Today, i share these habits with you in the hope that you pick one or all in order to fully understand the Joy of living.

Minimalism

Hi, i’m Nina and i am steadily on my way to attaining a Minimalist lifestyle. Minimalism  according to Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus is described as a tool to rid yourself of life’s excess in favor of focusing on what is important so that you can find happiness, fulfillment and freedom. This particular trait helps in setting a boundary between our needs and wants, something we couldn’t decipher over time. 

Minimalism basically involves ‘de-clutter’, doing away with stuff you do not need. From books- clothes-make up and every other thing you posess. It helps to draw a fine line between yourself and the things you own. The ability to minimize your posessions helps you to be organized, gives you more control of your space and steadily forms a detachment from material thing. 

Well, hello Contentment.

My first declutter session (now wishing i had a Youtube channel) happened sometime early November leaving me with abundant space in my bedroom. I felt afraid throwing old receipts, books and stuff that were practically eating up my space. Fear made me realised how bound i was to the obsession of being accurate at all times and this i found no way healthy for me or the life i wanted to live. Minimalism helped me to open up my mind and truly find out what was there to keep and voila i now own a mini library with a single clear bag containing all my life in it.

You don’t have to own so much to feel good and they certainly did not lie when they said ‘Less is More’

Ps. Who is they? 


Listen to Podcasts

I basically describe Podcasts as inspirational and mind-intriguing voice notes. Listening to Podcasts has helped me to discover and engage myself in the complexity of diverse minds. I started listening to Podcasts just recently on my Android phone through the Podcast Republic app. 

You should listen to Podcasts because common sense LOL!  While digital books may be hard to tolerate, Podcasts  are generally empathetic. For the sake of gaining knowledge, Podcasts are also helpful. It houses a large form of individual-audience for you and i.

Listen to Podcasts because bragging rights, not many people know what Podcasts entails but now you do, you have left Looser ville and come into the world of basic gringeys trying to live a purposeful life.

Reccomendations 

Redefining success after failure by Audacious kay

The Kitty Genovese story by Stuff you should know

Stealing your own joy by Audacious kay


Wake up early


This past Saturday was indeed experimental which has led to my conscious decision to waking early on a daily basis. Waking up early is perhaps the best thing that could happen to you by the start of the day. 

Several scientists have correlated waking up early with success. Aside from benefits of being Proactive, Organized & Optimistic waking up early gives room for meditation, exercise and breakfast as well as easier transit/ commute.

In a 2008 Texas University study, college students who identified themselves as “morning people” earned a full point higher on their GPAs than those who were “night owls” (3.5 vs. 2.5). Good grades help students secure better career oportunity. 



Keep a Journal 

Carrie Bradshaw kept a Journal so should you. When it comes to keeping a journal, several forms of stereotypes are been conjured as to why journal keeping should be regarded as lame. Science however offers Journaling as a tool to dissolve skepticism.

It helps in strengethening your IQ, evolves mindfulness, strengthens self discipline and helps in achieving goals. Perhaps another beautiful thing about Journaling is it’s involvement in a Healing process.

According to Dr James Pennebaker, author of Writing to heal has seen increased immune function in participants of writing exercises. Journaling helps to spark your creativity and ultimately keep you in check at most times.

Become a little more tolerant….


Nicely bathing and soaking up the sun

….of yourself. If you can give yourself more chances then giving others shouldn’t be a problem.

The ability to tolerate oneself is a great conscious effort and a show of control over one’s life. When you become tolerant of yourself, your self-esteem will suffer a boost because you would have come to the realization that you are not your mistakes. This kind of attitude will always get you back on track and help you abstain from long whining and self pity. You realise that nobody is perfect and that everybody has to have a piece of error slice. You slowly eradicate worry and anxiety whilst creating your own reality of what perfection is. 

This is not saying you shouldn’t challenge yourself, but knowing yourself enough to know that all things good will come in due time and that you are deserving of everything good despite your mistakes.

Till next time, be happy xxx 

The Shift

When you have your birthday just by the end of the year, your brain automatically shifts.

My brain has been shifting, infact my brain has done a lot of shifting these past months and now that 2016 is almost over, i am truly grateful for it.

Shift 1

Overtime, i have come to understand that you are your biggest Cheer squad and also your biggest Hater, every  other element posing as either of these are not really as important as you in finding happiness in life. It is important to know that support from anyone is not guranteed as well as their approval. Work with yourself, grow and thrive. This kind of shift will make you invincible

Shift 2

Perfection has been placed on a pedestal of societal standards which has totally left many of us in the dark of what perfection truly is.

In History,*history student right here*  the whole essence is to retell past events as it is- just the way it happened. Historians are been required to be Objective which disallows the influence of emotions or any form of Sentiment whatsoever but how then would this be possible in this work of Art. Art itself is the expression of man’s vulnerability which involves a lot of emotion. Truth in History has come down to being relative, so is Perfection in reality.

Perfection is your reality, create it.
Shift 3

Some days you will wake up from the very wrong side of your bed even after planning your life the night before. This is life, face it. Don’t try to do any of your planned activities. Instead,try doing something different like reading a book, tidying your room or organizing your life on paper.  You don’t have to get it right all the time, cut yourself some slack

Shift 4

Keeping a journal was probably one of the best things that happened to me in the course of this shift. Anybody can keep a journal, you don’t need the blessings of Achebe to do so. Documenting your life releases stress girl, don’t try me.

Shift 5

I don’t worry as much as i used to, i’m pretty much the hooded kermit. lol!. Life is pretty awesome if you just relax and understand that Time would reply your DMs (osheyyyyy). 

Choosing not to worry is a conscious decision, make this choice today.

These little shifts have made life comfortable for me as i find my path to fulfillment. What other shifts have you encountered during these past months? 

Love you all x

Ps. Thanks for the Birthday wishes, i was truly awed by the emails.🎉🎉🎈💜

Diary of One Eko Girl 5


December 31

“Katherine!!!….” i could hear my mother scream my name from the foot of the stairs. I must have slept off on the sofa whilst watching a show in the mini-parlour. 

“….your phone has been ringing” she said stretching it to me after i had lazily walked down to meet her.

“Did you pick?” I asked looking at the strange number on my phone which had called consecutively.

“Of course, i didn’t” she said giving me the sheepish look she always had when she was up to something.

Just as i was about to confront her for tresspassing, my phone began to ring again. 

“Pick it” my mother said in a rather very excited way. It looked like she had already known who was calling but still declined when i asked her. 

“Hello…” i began whilst shooing my mother as i retreated to my room. I could tell she was disappointed by my dismissal.

“Hello to you too, Katherine” the voice on the other hand replied. 

I was familiar with this voice but i didn’t want to take a wild guess so i proceeded to ask who it was.

“Oh it’s Ken…..” the voice began with a hearty laughter afterwards as if knowing what i was thinking.

It was a surprise to receive a call from Ken. He had never called me before, not even to assist him on one of his cases. Besides it was a New year’s Eve. Why on earth would the most arrogant person in the entire universe call me?. At that moment i had regretted why i dismissed my mum earlier on.

“Good evening sir, how can i help you?”

“Not calling me sir will not get you fired…..” he began

“….i hear you assisted Martha win the Land case in June…..”

“Yes”

“..well there is another Land case i have taken up and i want your service.”

The arrogant bastard, he must have been dreaming when he decided to go all the way to call me and get my commitment.

“I’m sorry sir, but i work for Martha”

“Well Martha recommended you and you work for the firm.”

That witch really had some nerve. It wasn’t just enough that she made my stay a living hell at the firm. She had decided to frustrate my life.

“But….”

“But nothing, there is a board meeting by 5 at the office, be there” he replied interrupting every attempt in rescuing myself from this plight.

There was no way out for me because the next thing i heard after be there was the call ending. I immediately sat on my bed pondering on whether to call Lauretta and tell her what had happened. I didn’t. It was already few minutes after 4:00 when i eventually reached for my keys and left the house after, of course, explaining my dilemma to my mother. My New year’s eve was certainly not going to be it.

Pulling up at the drive way, i noticed how cars were not assembled like it would normally be during a normal board meeting day but i immediately assumed that i was much earlier. It was important to show efficiency and professionalism even if both parties lacked cordial relationship.

As i entered into the reception room i found it awfully strange that Josephine was not around. She would normally be the one to receive members of the board but she wasn’t there. Infact nobody was. Assuming that every activity was been held on the last floor, i entered into the lift and began to ascend to where the board meeting would take place.

Stepping into the last floor held no consolation either. In fact the lights were off and nobody was there, i immediately began to cuss out as i reached to get my phone from my bag. Ken was surely going to get it today. As i dialed the number,i stepped out of my shoes and sat on the floor placing the phone on loud speaker.

There was no reply.

I was frustrated,very angry and hungry, all at the same time. I stood up again and began roaming the office. This time i was barefooted and had no care in the world. Ken was surely a bastard and i was ready to quit. As i made my way to the coffee maker down the hall with my mug, i stopped by Chris’ office. It was guarded by a door, the colour of his skin with his name hugely plastered on it. Standing there brought memories of the dinner night to place. I bit my lip remembering the kiss and sighed when the room became so bloody hot. I couldn’t stop myself from thinking and wanting him as i traced my right hand from his plastered name down to the silver door knob.

“Slut” i heard my mind yell at me as i dropped my hand back to my side. She was right, after all i pushed him away that night because he was married but here i was still wanting him to unzip me and touch me inappropriately. As i sighed and began to make my way down the hall, i saw Chris staring at me as he walked towards me.

My virgin Mary, had he been watching me?, i thought as halted facing the man walking towards me.

“What are you doing here?” He asked as he halted just few inches away from me.

I was quite unsure what to say but i almost pinched myself for the way i replied him

“What are you doing here?” I mimicked him

“What?”

“Yes, what are you doing here?” I asked mimicking him once again.

“Katherine, are you trying to get yourself fired?” He asked with his eyes full of surprise. I wanted to stop but i couldn’t, the more he stood there, the more i continued to say rubbish. I was angry. I was angry that he was married, I was angry that he kissed me, I was angry that he avoided me. I was just angry.

“Oh, go ahead Big boy” i said giving him a mocking bow as i walked down the hall with the mug.

“What did you just call me?” he asked in a very cold manner. This was when i knew i had done it. What was wrong with me? Wasn’t i the one who told him to fuck off? Why was i behaving this way?

I did not answer as i began to walk away. He tugged my arm as the mug came crashing down but he did care.

“What did you call me Katherine?” He asked again but with a very calm demeanour but i could tell he had a tough time controlling his anger.

Enough was Enough.

“Big boy, yes! I called you big boy, or isn’t that what you are?”

“Excuse me..”

“Oh, so now you can talk to me? Hell, you can tug my arm and complete a full sentence without avoiding my eyes?” I continued as i clapped.

“…how dare you sneak up on me like that and then ask what i’m doing here?…”

“Katherine..” he began as i interrupted him again

“What i’m doing here is working out my ass for arrogant and unappreciative people like you, Mr. Chris on a fucking New year’s Eve. So fire me, fire me dammit! But you will let me clean up this mess we made” i concluded as i knelt down to pick the shattered glass on the floor.

“What? No, you’ll get yourself injured” he said as he walked over to my side but it was too late my fingers had become toast.

“It’s fine, i can take care of it” i began trying to avoid any form of pity from him.

“You are not fine and you will let me help you”

“No, dont worry i’ll try to”

“Oh nothing, you’ll try nothing. Why are you so stubborn?” He interrupted me as he brought out his keys and helped me up. My knees had been pierced as well as the pain was tearing my insides.

As we got into his office, he made me sit and brought out a bottle of vodka and a pack of new handkerchiefs.

“I’m sorry” i began

He nodded as he brought the piece of cloth already damped with alcohol to my knees. As soon it made contact with my skin i screamed and looked at me with so much anger but began to laugh as he saw my face go numb.

“Apology accepted” he said in between the laugh as he looked at me with concern.

“It’s going to sting for a while, but you’ll be alright”

“Okay”

“No thank you?” he asked as he tended to my fingers.

“Thank you” i replied rolling my eyes.

“Will you now tell me what you are doing here before i actually fire you?” He asked again but with a soft smile on his face.

“Ken called me up for a meeting” i began

“A meeting that was cancelled” he interrupted as he gently placed my right hand on my lap.

“A text was circulated almost immediately after he called you”

So he knew he called me.

“I asked him to call you” he said reading my thoughts.

“Why couldn’t you just call me yourself?” I asked.

“I was busy”

“Okay”

“Okay” he said trying to mimick me

“Really?” I began wanting to slap off the smirk on his face. But he laughed as he sat on the table looking at me.

“Go home”

“I want to stay, i want to stay with you” he said looking at me with so much Love.

Love was what i had began to feel for this man but he was married and there was no hope for me. How could he want to stay with me. He obviously did not get that i was not available for a fling and definitely not a home wrecker.

“We can’t” i began

“You are married”

“My wife is dead dammit” he said with frustration as he stood and began to pace round the room.

“What?” I said in surprise as he continued without even regarding my state of shock

“Cancer, stage 2, three years ago” he continued as if reciting a rehearsed piece.

“I’m sorry” i said

He nodded.

I couldn’t believe it, Chris was a widower with a kid and i was here playing angry princess. I felt awful and immediately wanted to hold him but my fingers would not let me.

“So..”

“So, i like you Katherine,a lot! and i haven’t stopped thinking about you since the day you joined my unit and then slept over at my house and the night when we kissed” he said interrupting me as he made his way to where i sat.

I felt awful about his wife but my happiness could not be contained as Chris said all he said to me.

“I Love you Katherine, i know we haven’t formally dated but i do. I have for a while now and that is why my attitude has been quite unclear” he continued as he knelt before me.

“Oh my god” i began

“Say something, speak english” he said with his face like that of a school boy.

“Say you Love me or atleast you like me. Just say something”

“I Love you too and i will very much like to kiss you again” i said as a huge smile began to spread over his face.

With that, he held my face and kissed me softly urging me with his tongue to let him in. I felt numb and almost forgot my injuries when i tried to place my hand at the back of his head.

“We will have to be more careful about roaming hands now that we have an Invalid” he said as i burst out laughing.

The End

Hi guys, thank you for being so patient with me. This by far the worst compilation of the millenium but you stuck around. Thank you. I decided to cut the story this short because it was taking a lot of time and perhaps i wasn’t vibing with it anymore. But you’re smart and you understand that we must move on to greater things. Please drop a comment below and tell me what you think about the whole series. Additions and further Editing will be done as time goes one. Love you x

Blood is thicker than water

I should have known friends were humans too when i lied and became sneaky that night just beside the road that led to the new church. I should have known friends had the luxury of contemplating minds and uncertainty stored up, somewhere, somehow waiting to burt open. I should have known friends had Patience and Love filled with acres of limitation. I should have known that friends could have ‘Enough’ and turn their sides which would slowly show their backs.

Blood is thicker than water

I am at the point where i can see the side of my friend and i am ready to walk away. No more visions of cap throwing and cheering at graduation together. I will smile at a distance and have the peace at seeing my friend excel and be all that she needs to be . 

Blood is thicker than water

I told my friend any and every thing; from parts i liked about myself to parts which required peeling up old wounds. For my friend, i became vulnerable and honest and true. I had never been this intimate before, not even with my husband. But i became. For my friend.

Blood is thicker than water

“So i’m just going to be straight and ask you, was it who they say it was?” she began. I nodded.

I wanted to tell her everything and not hold anything back but she accused me of creating a crack in our wall. I could hear her mother laugh like her daughter had found out that i was the witch. That night we were torn from our bellies apart. It would never be the same.

Blood is thicker than water

You will not hear it in their voice, you will see it in their eyes when they tell you ‘he is our elder brother, don’t talk to him that way’ as if you did not share a soul that understood such sheer folly that was displayed. 

You will know it when your portion of food increases and you have an extra meat on your plate. You will know when your friend tells her sister to serve you and runs your bath for you. 

You will know it truly but as the stranger your friend has made you to be.

Blood is thicker than water

On Sunday morning, 10 years after Graduation. You will take a walk to the new church at Sampson avenue in the new estate of Grand Duke Arnold. You will see your friend, not in her form but in the scarf that slips into the wind. 

Blood is thicker than water

To all the friendships that died over family.

Already a woman


As the days draw near to my 21st, i feel light. I am neither excited for a bash or loads of wishes. Infact, i’d rather no one knew about it.

The days before my 20th were hard and bitter. I could hardly chew talk less of digesting the thought of leaving my Teen years. I wanted to become abstract and cryptic. I wanted to become invisible even as i thought of growing old, alone and happy rather than aspiring to marry a man who would constantly compare me to other women.

I am 20 and i don’t feel Abstract or Cryptic. I feel drained. No tears, No saliva. Like the taps in me have been turned off. I am 20 and i don’t feel Abstract or Cryptic. I feel like an anchor. I save and contain and restrict.

I am 20 and i look just like my mother when she looks at my father with crystal waters in her eyes. She is at peace. I am at peace.

When i become 21 i want to be able to have the courage to reserve my energy, my love, my kiss, my home for myself. Feeling no obligation to anyone, i want to Love with ease without my breasts aching to be touched or loved back by someone. I want to be complete all by myself.

Drowning myself in the miracle of attaining womanhood is all i want when i become. Knowing my self and all that turns me on spread on my finger tips is just how i want it. Every single part of it.

No validation, No held promises, No rage, No solid, No matter. Just peace. Just water, Just me. 

 A fight you can win.

Twenty years ago, a baby girl was born with cheeks like magic lamp and hair made of coal. When she laughed, her mother and her father and even her older brother laughed as well. But  twenty years later this baby girl became a woman who still had cheeks like smooth magic lamp and  hair made of coal. She did not know how to Laugh or even smile. Happiness had become foreign and Joy a thing of the past
The End.

Did someone say Hormones ?

Growing up is tough. I am not just particular about the growth of your physical body ( of course that also could be)  but the constant adjustment of your mind, brain and all that coalesces your being. And because of this we are prone to fall into a dark place where we just let negativity rule. This is not because we want to but because it becomes so easy to give up since we find it impossible to claim control over situations that constantly taunt us.

Now this Dark Place has a name. We call it Depression- a mental illness- a place nobody should be. Suicidal thoughts and even attempts are signs to show how deep we’ve gone into this Dark place yet many are convinced that Depression is particular to some and not everybody.

Everybody has a piece of Depression cake.

As a History student, life has taught me never to be Mono causal. Ever wondered why a person could fall off a large storey building because of something that wouldn’t make sense to you?  Well, i have and for the sake of being objective, refused to believe that people take their lives due to immediate causes.

Depression masks itself in the following:

  • Fear
  • Anxiety
  • Paranoia
  • Low self esteem
  • High self esteem
  • Isolation

Basically, Depression masks itself in any form of imbalance. Therefore, when you find yourself becoming afraid, anxious, paranoid constanly, Depression can be said to be growing slowly but steadily. 

Nobody just wakes up to be diagonised with Depression. If we decide to be truly honest with ourselves, most of us regard the above Depression masks as normalcy in regards to human emotions which is not incorrect but may i remind you that some of these emotions if not curbed turn around to act against us. 

These emotions we take lightly build up throught the years. In fact, i qualify them as Absolute causes to the reasoning behind several suicide stories. 

Are you saying that people with Fear, Anxiety, Esteem issues, Paranoia, etc are Depressed?

Depression is a dark place we settle in when are void of strength and hope. It is normal to be afraid, paranoid and anxious but when it becomes the constant stop in life’s travail then you are depressed. When you find it so easy to give up, you are depressed. When you find yourself feeling worthless, you are depressed. When you find yourself putting others down to feel good about yourself, you are depressed. 

You are Depressed and You have no one to tell you.

Every body has different challenges but we are united on the premise of fear, anxiety, paranoia, lack of faith, etc. And because this is true, that we are constantly fighting to survive. We have to help each other out. 

Hence this post.

Depression is a daily struggle with self identity. Whether you struggle to believe you’re not a failure even with the big fat F on your test score or that you’re Beautiful even with society’s standard of what is acceptable or not. You are fighting off this cloaked monster.

Who are you?

Knowing yourself in the midst of society’s judgmental perceptions is indeed a great gift. Hold on to it. Investing in and growing yourself is a perfect way to fight off depression and  any form of bad energy existing in the universe. You must know that You are Enough, say it with your chest fam.

It is okay to be afraid, but girl you gotta get up and move the hell on. You cannot continue to find solace in that dark place. You cannot continue to be angry at the world, you have to own your pain and make it into something beautiful. You can do this. You can reject Self pity and get your ass to work.

You are stronger than all your fears put together. You can do this.

Finding help

The only way to utterly leave this dark place is to know your identity. I have an identity. Jesus is my identity. He helps a lot you know and i’m so sure he can help you if you let him. It’s so amazing to know that you’re not alone in this.

You are never alone.